It’s shouldn’t be that hard

I always have so many thoughts in my brain but I don’t always have a moment to make a video because I can’t film in costume and when I’m standing in I have to pay attention. Usually these thoughts are sparked by things I see on the interwebs that I have an opinion on and by the time I get around to make the video I’m over the idea. But duh! Girl, you have a whole blog that has been dormant. Go write those thoughts down.

So the other day I saw a meme that said “for the right guy all you’re going to have to do is you exist” and let me tell you, that’s so so true. Every man I know who is a good man to their mate or a good husband to their wife says that they did not waste time when it came to committing to their woman. And she did not have to prove that she was worthy of his loyalty, his commitment or his time - he just knew and he wanted her around. And fellas, the same goes for you. When she knows she knows and you will not have to wonder if she likes you or not. She will find time for you, she’ll want to see you, she will want to be with you. She won’t have any excuses when you ask her to hang out.

You will never have to force your way into someone’s life if they actually like you. You won’t have to prove you’re good enough for them. Because there is literally nothing you can to do if someone isn’t feeling you like that. You can cook, clean, be nice, caring, loving and have diamonds between your thighs, but the person they actually like and are really into just has to be. That’s it that’s all. They don’t have to work hard to gain their affection or their time. And they won’t ever feel like they’re in a competition with others.

The person who wants you will make sure that you to know that you’re wanted. People treat you exactly how they feel about you and a person can only give you scraps if you allow them to.

I mean, sometimes people can’t treat you the way you should be treated because they have places within themselves that need healing. But we can talk about that later.

When someone makes you question whether or not they like you, they don’t. When someone’s actions make you question your worth, they are not the one for you. When someone wants you in your life, you’ll be there. When someone makes up excuses as to why they can’t see you or if you feel like you’re having to wedge your way into someone’s life, they don’t like you like that - and that’s okay, there will always be someone who does.

I dated a guy in another state who was a general manager running nine stores and there was never an excuse of him being too busy. Because he liked me. It was during the vid so I was able to up and go when I felt like it and whenever he wanted to see me or I wanted to see him either of us just said the word and he purchased my plane ticket ASAP. Because he liked me and actually wanted me around - period.

A lot of times someone is only sexually attracted to you. They may like your personality, they’ll think you’re pretty or handsome…sexy, but that’s it. They don’t want to have a deeper connection with you other than that. They want to have sex with you but they don’t want to know your heart or have any real intimacy with you. And for some people “just sex” is okay - even though there’s absolutely no such thing as just sex. Having sex with someone connects you emotionally and spiritually whether you want to believe that or not. No matter what religion you practice, sex is spiritual. It was created for connection and it binds your souls together. Soul ties are real and having one with a person or multiple people you thought were “just sex” can be detrimental to your spirit. You wonder why your emotions are all over the place or you don’t quite feel like yourself. You just don’t “feel right” within yourself. You feel unsettled and you can’t figure out why. It’s because you are bound to a person that was not meant for you. They weren’t someone you were serious about and now you’ve taken on all of their stuff and will have to do the work to get rid of it.

Speaking of getting rid of things, the other day I was putting a bag together for donations and I found a gym bag from my ex. I thought I had gotten rid of everything he had gotten me. We broke up seven years ago and there was a point when I got rid of everything piece clothing he bought me, gifts, everything. I had to clear him out of my space to allow someone else to come in. Like a rose bush, you have to prune it so that new flowers will grow. It’s not that you hate the bush, but you know that if you don’t get rid of the old, there won’t be room for new to bloom. You don’t have to hate your ex. You can be cordial if you see them. But if they’re still taking up space in your life there is no way for new love to come in. Their presence blocks the possibility of another person entering into your life. They get in the way and it makes it hard for you allow someone else in that space. This is a person that you loved and shared a life so there needs to be a separation before you allow someone else in. You can’t have a former lover taking up residency in your life who once held significant space in your heart and expect for new love to come - there’s only room for one.

Okay idk how we got there but if you’re new here, welcome to my blog. We take detours and have run on sentences but it’s always a good time and you leave with things to think about.

But anywho. There should be an ease when two people are into each other. It shouldn’t be hard or stressful and it dang sure shouldn’t make you cry. Yes relationships take work but you should not feel like you’re having to wedge your way into someone’s life. If they want you there, you’ll be there. There won’t be any confusion on either side.

So, in the words of Brownstone, if you love me, say it, if you trust me, do it, if you want me, show it, if you need me, prove it. It’s just that simple.