Work Wives

So the other day I saw a post that had Valentine’s Day cards for work wives and husbands and let me tell you, it threw me for a loop. As someone who has never been married, I have still never understood those terms. Unless you are in a play or a movie, there absolutely no reason to be pretending my spouse is yours. To me, the labels husband and wife hold serious weight and it should not be used as flippantly as to describe someone you work with. I don’t care how innocent you think it is.

And I work with some amazing men who make sure we’re good. Whether they’re gay or straight, we don’t have to worry about carrying water, chairs and if something is wrong they fix it. But it is because they’re men and they make sure the women are taken care of. But in no way do I refer to them as my work husbands - because we are not committed to one another. I know their wives, husbands and girlfriends and I just think calling someone a work spouse is completely disrespectful.

So many people see it as harmless, but in the first post I saw, there were too many people in the comments saying that either themselves or their exes are now in a relationship with the “work wife/husband”. Their marriages were spilt up because it turned into an emotional affair.

I don’t think people understand how deep an emotional connection can be. Sometimes I feel like I would feel worse if my man was in an emotional affair than a sexual one. You’re sharing your heart and thoughts and your feelings with someone?? Absolutely not. You’re telling them things you should only be telling me or your male safe spaces? Immediately no. You’re happy just to be around them? Nah.

Energy is sacred. If you are a person who can just give the same type of energy to every person you find attractive, you don’t have any self control. And it’s honestly unattractive to me once I know that’s how you move. Just like men don’t want women who have been “ran through”, women don’t want no passed around peen. And women do not want men who treat every woman in their sphere the same way.

That’s why it is important to have a partner who is settled within themselves. If they aren’t, they will sling their energy wherever the wind takes them. Your partner has to be confident in who they are so they are not looking for validation in every corner. Whoever will give them the attention at the moment is where they’ll go and you’ll always feel like you’re in a battle with other women or men. Constantly feeling like you have to one up other people in order to stay in the front of their minds. And we talked about that last time, there is no competition if you go where you’re actually wanted and valued. And if you have to do all that, they don’t deserve your time, your heart or space in your life.